We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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