I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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