About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
