Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
