somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
