Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
