White coat. Heels.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize