I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
