You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
