can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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