Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
