I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
