i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just googled if crying burns calories
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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