Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
