She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
