I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
