first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
