Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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