I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
