She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Houston, we have a blender
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
