He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
