More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
