Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
