Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
