Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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