If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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