I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
