So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
