omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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