My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
