it hurts more in the daytime
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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