i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
