I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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