My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
