his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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