well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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