i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
