Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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