We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Still dying that you shit outside
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
