Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize