Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
