people are starting to question the shark bite story
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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