You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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