the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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