You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Help me help you realize you are a moron
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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