Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
