I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm passing your future prison.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
