we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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