the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
