Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
