You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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