not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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