You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize