party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
