Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize