don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am midnight drunk by noon
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
