chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
