So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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