best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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