I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
