I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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