just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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