dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
