i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
