problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
