Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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