She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
