nutella sex= disaster
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
