Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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