Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
