just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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