Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
