She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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