its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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