I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
