Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
bring money and cleavage
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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