can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The uberlube is also flammable
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize