i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
