Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
