Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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