just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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