i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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