Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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