just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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