so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
