i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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