Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
