her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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