Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
