Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
