You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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