We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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