weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
